Raise your hand if you realize this whole climb the ladder, working mom thing isn’t, well, working.
Too many Black Christian women are overscheduled and overweight. We’re behind on the bills and burned out. We give the first fruits to our jobs and also get fired.
When we finally do spend time with our husbands and kids, our batteries are drained. We’re praying the kids go to bed early and that he doesn’t want sex tonight.
The people we love become an inconvenience, rather than a priority. I know, because I’ve been there.
And I realized this is a violation of God’s design for wives and mothers. He wants his daughters to live a much better life than this.
On one hand, this is a side effect of Black women jumping on the feminist bandwagon of the White Women’s Movement. This agenda delusionally urged women to be the quarterback on every field: at work, in marriage, with our kids, and in our communities.
Scriptures About What God Wants For Women
Proverbs 31
A wife of noble character who can find?
She is worth far more than rubies.
11 Her husband has full confidence in her
and lacks nothing of value.
12 She brings him good, not harm,
all the days of her life.
13 She selects wool and flax
and works with eager hands.
14 She is like the merchant ships,
bringing her food from afar.
15 She gets up while it is still night;
she provides food for her family
and portions for her female servants.
16 She considers a field and buys it;
out of her earnings she plants a vineyard.
17 She sets about her work vigorously;
her arms are strong for her tasks.
18 She sees that her trading is profitable,
and her lamp does not go out at night.
19 In her hand she holds the distaff
and grasps the spindle with her fingers.
20 She opens her arms to the poor
and extends her hands to the needy.
21 When it snows, she has no fear for her household;
for all of them are clothed in scarlet.
22 She makes coverings for her bed;
she is clothed in fine linen and purple.
23 Her husband is respected at the city gate,
where he takes his seat among the elders of the land.
24 She makes linen garments and sells them,
and supplies the merchants with sashes.
25 She is clothed with strength and dignity;
she can laugh at the days to come.
26 She speaks with wisdom,
and faithful instruction is on her tongue.
27 She watches over the affairs of her household
and does not eat the bread of idleness.
28 Her children arise and call her blessed;
her husband also, and he praises her:
29 “Many women do noble things,
but you surpass them all.”
30 Charm is deceptive, and beauty is fleeting;
but a woman who fears the Lord is to be praised.
31 Honor her for all that her hands have done,
and let her works bring her praise at the city gate.
Titus 2
You, however, must teach what is appropriate to sound doctrine. 2 Teach the older men to be temperate, worthy of respect, self-controlled, and sound in faith, in love and in endurance.
3 Likewise, teach the older women to be reverent in the way they live, not to be slanderers or addicted to much wine, but to teach what is good. 4 Then they can urge the younger women to love their husbands and children, 5 to be self-controlled and pure, to be busy at home, to be kind, and to be subject to their husbands, so that no one will malign the word of God.
This Mule Mentality Is Another Relic of Slavery
Back in 1930, Carter G. Woodson, the founder of Black History Month, uses the iconic figure of the Negro washerwoman to show how Black women have been in mule-mode since slavery:
When a slave, she arose with the crowing of the fowl to sweat all but blood in the employ of a despotic mistress [white woman slave owner] for whose household she had to toil often until late in the night. On return home, she had to tax her body further to clean a neglected hut, to prepare the meals and wash the clothes of her abandoned children, while her husband, also worn out with the heavier burdens of the day, had time to rest. In addition to this, she often took in other work by which she saved sufficient money to purchase her freedom and sometimes that of her husband and children. Often she had compassion on a persecuted slave and used such savings to secure his liberation at a high cost only to let him go free for a nominal charge.
When free during the antebellum period the drudgery of the Negro washerwoman was not much diminished. The earning power of her husband was not great since slave labor impoverished free labor, and the wife often had to do something to supplement the income of her unprofitable husband. Laboring, too, for those who were not fortunately enough circumstanced to have slaves to serve them, the free Negro woman could earn only such wages as were paid to menial workers. In thus, eking out an existence, however, the washerwoman was an important factor. Without her valuable contribution the family under such conditions could not have been maintained.
Too Many Black Christian Women Are Still Functioning Like Washerwomen
We’re breaking our backs at work, then we come home to our real jobs—taking care of our households and families. Some of us are neglecting our roles as wives and mothers, or outsourcing it to nannies, before-school programs, after-school programs, daycares, and babysitters.
This means we’re also neglecting what God asked his people to do in Deuteronomy 6:
Love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your strength. These commandments that I give you today are to be on your hearts. Impress them on your children. Talk about them when you sit at home and when you walk along the road, when you lie down and when you get up.
In this mic drop commentary, Bindi Marc discusses the role God intended for his daughters and this is not it. Please listen with an open heart before you get offended.
Our grandmothers had to toil to survive. And yes, unlike white women, Black women have always had to work the fields like a man to take care of our families, but today God is moving his daughters in a new direction.
We have an opportunity to carve a new path that better resembles the peace and protection of Biblical womanhood.
Take Home Messages
As a Christian woman, your career must not take priority over your husband, your children, and your household.
Check Out The Equally Yoked Conversation Cards
Christian couples can get on the same page about make-or-break issues, if they have the right discussions before it becomes a problem. Check out our conversations cards to get the conversation started.
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