Solid Black men have always preferred Black women with natural beauty—hair, bodies, face, everything. We love all shades, hair textures, and body types. I believe that the problem is that too many of our women have allowed the media to promote colorism and influence their beauty standards.
They look at the wrong Black men to determine who the right Black men want. They look at men who follow colorism like the passport bros, or clowns like Chris Brown, Nick Cannon and their harem of racially ambiguous baby mamas and say, “See, told ya. Black men don’t like us.”
Please, stop thinking that these degenerates speak for sensible Black men. These dudes are agents. They are modern-day plantation bucks. They are not husband material. They are not father material. They are not the reference point.
Meanwhile, the men who do affirm Black women’s features get put in the friend, square, or lame box. I’ve found that educated Black men tend to love Black women’s features, especially if they went to an HBCU.
Yet, too many Black women will say that there’s no affirmation for their natural features. When we do affirm, some women actually get mad and say things like…
“Why Should I Care What Men Think!”
If you don’t care, stop complaining about the colorism of the passport bros, the c-list celebrities, and their baby mamas. Let those men like who they like. Chop it up as a preference and keep it moving.
But, let’s pretend that you really believe the weaves and wigs actually look better than your healthy, natural hair. And you’ve decided that the man who looks at you everyday—especially your husband— doesn’t get a vote. Then, don’t be surprised when his head is on swivel for the gorgeous sister with the locs.
If you’re single and don’t care what men think, let me ask: Do you care what the Most High thinks? The Creator designed you with the features he wanted you to have. This is the same Creator who designed beaches, majestic animals, the stars. You—in your natural form—are just as breathtaking as his other creations.
One of the most beautiful features I love about my wife is her natural hair. She told me that the man who started her locs warned her: “You’re about to attract a different type of man. The good ones will be trying to holler now.” And, she finally gave up the heavy eye makeup. I check in with her, too, about my outfits, my haircuts, etc. I would love to grow one of those thick mane beards, but she prefers it low. She’s the one who has to look at me, so I honor her opinion.
Scriptures About The Beauty of Black Women
Songs of Solomon 1:1-5
This is Solomon’s song of songs, more wonderful than any other.
Young Woman
2 Kiss me and kiss me again,
for your love is sweeter than wine.
3 How pleasing is your fragrance;
your name is like the spreading fragrance of scented oils.
No wonder all the young women love you!
4 Take me with you; come, let’s run!
The king has brought me into his bedroom.
Young Women of Jerusalem
How happy we are for you, O king.
We praise your love even more than wine.
Young Woman
How right they are to adore you.
5 I am dark but beautiful,
O women of Jerusalem—
dark as the tents of Kedar,
dark as the curtains of Solomon’s tents.
Psalms 139:13-16
For You formed my inward parts;
You [f]covered me in my mother’s womb.
14 I will praise You, for [g]I am fearfully and wonderfully made;
Marvelous are Your works,
And that my soul knows very well.
15 My [h]frame was not hidden from You,
When I was made in secret,
And skillfully wrought in the lowest parts of the earth.
16 Your eyes saw my substance, being yet unformed.
And in Your book they all were written,
The days fashioned for me,
When as yet there were none of them.
Weak Men Have Always Upheld Colorism
This preference for whiter hair textures, complexions, eye colors, or whatever was forced on us. But, too many of us are continuing it rather than correcting it.
We’ve all heard about the house slave vs field slave. We know that during slavery house slaves and free people tended to have a white parent. There have always been social advantages to having whiter features.
E Franklin Frazier, a sociologist from the 1930s, mocks how deeply ingrained this was in the Creole communities of New Orleans. In his 1932 book, The Free Negro Family, he talks about how Creole mothers were so desperate for beige grand babies that they actually came up with a formal side-piece system. They prostituted their mixed-race daughters to European dignitaries at these elite parties called “quadroon balls.” They had written contracts to exchange their daughters for money and slaves, who had darker skin of course.
The Creole communities had the same disdain for blackness as the most racist white person. A common saying among the Creole women was “I’d rather be a white man’s mistress, than a nigger’s wife.”
This mentality continued long after slavery among brainwashed Black men and women.
Here’s a song by singer Josh White, made in 1932, where he talks about how he prefers jet black women— because “You can’t tell when I black her eye. The only way you can tell if I hurt her, if she hang her head and cry. She’s a nappy headed woman, ugly as she can be…”
Here’s another song from 1948, sang by Black men imprisoned on Parchman Farm, one of the most brutal convict leasing plantations. They had the same hate for Black women that white racists had for them. The lyrics say “I don’t want no jet Black woman, she too mean, Lawd, she too mean.”
Today’s minstrel show performers continue this line of thinking, bragging that they like light skin and wavy hair. And sadly, just like Josh White, these men still have an audience. Plenty of Black women go to their shows and lust for these types of men, while ignoring the ones who adore their natural hair and brown skin.
These men do not represent solid Black men. Here’s what any solid Black dude thinks is Drop. Dead. Gorgeous.
Modern Day Plantation Fools Still Practice Colorism
Nick Cannon imitates a plantation buck so badly that he even tried to host a dark skin girls vs. light skin girls competition. After some backlash, he changed the event name. Still the intention was to continue a rivalry among women based on skin color and hair texture.
I’m not surprised at chitlin circuit dudes like Nick Cannon. However, I am surprised that Black women actually signed up for his competition. It’s hard to blame colorism on white people when Black men and women are still volunteering for it.
Colorism: We Need to Correct It, Not Continue It
If we’re going to raise daughters who know that they are fearfully and wonderfully made and don’t look for worldly validation, we need to affirm all shades and hair textures of our women. Women need to reject men who show any signs of colorism, and Black men need to check men who display this mindset.
Here’s a video from Rev. Augustus Corbett and his YouTube Channel. He’s talking about how Black men need to keep affirming our women’s natural features. For Black women, here’s the bottom line: Select the men who are selecting you. You’ll find that plenty of husband-material Black men adore your afros, locs, braids, curls, natural waves, and your brown skin of all shades. We have no specific preference for weaves and wigs. We wish you felt the same way.
Wow. I came for a quick read and found myself having to make time to read, watch, listen, process and repeat. LOL
I think the most striking challenge to my initial orientation on this subject was the question I asked myself. Do I really like the way I look when my hair is processed or do I like the attention and affirmations I get for it? I think it’s the affirmation and attention. What woman wouldn’t want to be admired for being well-groomed in their God-given beauty? I stopped processing my hair a long time ago. I do enjoy the rest of braids every now and again, but I do enjoy my natural appearance.
I do also enjoy the way women look with the aforementioned extentions to their natrual beauty. Wigs, extentions and nail extentions aren’t exclusive to black women or even a modern day phenomenon. Historically women have adored themselves in an effort to attract a mate and admiration from their peers.
When I visited Cameroon, I was surprised to see so many women in poorly applied and kept weaves and wigs. I expected to see more naturals, and braids, but it reminded me of poor black women in the hoods I grew up in right here in Chicago. I can’t believe that this is anything more than perverted influence. Just like some women here, prefer to have even a bad weave than no weave at all.
I think being in an American environment we have to ask ourselves why and really dig deep into our why, when we make these choices.